Some things I'm thinking about this morning:
I generally don't like flavors mixed together in drinks. I don't like kiwi strawberry or mango peach or whatever. I drink those flavored water powders, and one day they were out of the fruit punch flavor, so I reluctantly tried cherry pomegranate. Turns out, that's now my favorite flavor. Makes sense, I like cherries and I like pomegranates. Of course, I like strawberries and I like kiwi, but not together. Here's the kicker though: thinking about this, I realized that my favorite is fruit punch, which is a bunch of fruits mixed together! It's all very confusing.
Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me because when I'm telling someone about a friend, they always ask me things about them that I don't really know. They'll ask “what does he do for a living?” or “where did he go to school?” or “how old are their kids?” Now I know some of that information for my closest friends, but not for most of the people I know. I feel bad, because I'm obviously not asking the right questions. I'm a good conversationalist, and people generally like talking to me, but I must be a horrible person because I don't know these basic things that everyone else seems interested in.
Today I realized that my conversation style is to just let people tell me about the things they want to talk about. If they feel it's important to tell me about their job or their schooling or their kids, that's fine, but they don't. They tell me all kinds of personal things that I'm not at liberty to discuss with other people, and they talk about a lot of interesting things that they feel they can't talk to other people about. I'm interested in everything, so I usually share their enthusiasm, so they forget about their jobs or their responsibilities for awhile and get all excited and animated talking about some movie or song or article about mollusks that they read.
So I've decided that I'm not going to worry anymore if I'm some kind of sociopath, and just continue talking to people about stuff they want to talk about and not badger them with questions about their shitty job or ungrateful kids. I think what I provide them with is better than that.
I live in an apartment, and if I'm expecting someone, I'll go unlock the door and stand their with it open while they come into the building. Sometimes people think of apartment hallways like their car. They think that they're isolated, so they will talk to themselves, or burp or fart, or maybe pick their nose. I don't know about the last one, I can only hear them. Sometimes they will sing, and it's not just in apartment hallways. I come upon people singing to themselves in all kinds of random situations.
The musician part of me should probably be grimacing about how off key they are, but who am I to talk? They are always embarrassed when they are caught, but they shouldn't be. I'm just happy that they're singing, because it's hard to be miserable and sing, even if you're singing about miserable things. And let's face it, most of the greatest songs are about horrible things.
So all of you, sing whenever you want, and don't be ashamed. Well, maybe don't bust out a Taylor Dayne song at a funeral or something, but you know what I mean.
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