Me Too part six

Just talking about the horrible things men do to women isn’t even the whole story.  Not even close.  

Most of the women that are harassed or abused never get justice or closure.  The act itself is bad enough.  Then women are left to try to make sense of it.  some don’t even have the tools to deal with the abuse because the abuse was perpetrated on them by someone that was supposed to be protecting them.  Their father, or step father, brother, uncle or cousin.  Many families don’t even want to deal with it, so they ignore it or they blame the girl.  Many women who are sexually or physically abused when they are young are caught in the middle of a cycle  that they will unwittingly participate in themselves.
Most people’s insurance(if they even have insurance) doesn’t cover much in the way of mental health care, so many of these girls grow up and try to function in relationships when they don’t even know what a healthy relationship looks like. They have no way to get help, they have no one to talk to, they just live with this festering mental anguish with no one to help them cope or express their feelings.  They relive it over and over, and it affects every aspect of their lives.

If the abuse happens at work, many times nothing is done.  If they even feel comfortable enough to report it, many times nothing really happens to the perpetrator. Many times the women is said to be at blame.  I have heard many stories where the woman reported it and was fired.  My own father has seen this firsthand at jobs he’s worked at.  

The same thing happens when they report these crimes to the police.  Many times women are afraid or embarrassed to report it.  Most rapes go unreported for this reason. I can’t even count the number or women I have known that have been the victim of rape or physical violence.  The number is upwards of 50 at least.  Of all of them, perhaps 10 of those instances were ever reported, and of those, maybe two were actually adjudicated.  Women hit roadblocks every step of the way.  Their character is impuned by the men that committed the crimes, they are forced to publicly recount their experiences and are dissected and scrutinized every step of the way.

It makes me livid when I hear people question why it takes so much time for women to come forward with their accusations.  It isn’t easy at all, and I doubt many of the people chastising women for their reactions to being raped or beaten would have the fortitude and courage to come forth themselves. They are simply contributing to the problems women face in reporting these incidents.

The abuse and harassment are horrible enough, but then there is the lifetime spent trying to reconcile it and understand how someone could do that to them.  So many questions and doubts and fears left unanswered and unexplained.  When a man does anything like this to a women, he takes something from her that she may never get back.  He sentences her to years of torment and misery.  It can rob her future of happiness and security and trust, it can keep her from ever loving herself or someone else.  It can affect their children, destroy their relationships and families.  

For many the actual incident is just the beginning of a lifetime of uncertainty and pain.

That is the reality of what you are doing.  That is why it is time to put an end to it.  

That is why women are saying “me too”.

Are you listening?