Hey there everyone. Just popping in to tell you I love you all and post a little helpful bit of information.
If you do everything in your life expecting great results, you are bound to be disappointed. That disappointment will manifest itself in you if you're not careful, and you will start thinking that you're to blame because somehow you didn't do enough. It can make you think that you you are a failure, that nothing you do makes a difference, or that you don't matter. That's bullshit.
There are a million times everyday when people rise above and beyond what could possibly be expected of them, only to have it fall on deaf ears or go unnoticed by someone that is not in a good place and can't see it. It does not diminish who you are at all.
Often times people are damaged, and it takes a long time and lot of effort to get through to them. Sometimes those people are the same people that are supposed to be there for you. They are your parents, your siblings, your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife. It really fucks a person up when the people that are suppose to take care of them need taking care of, and it really fucks them up when those people don't respond when you put yourself out there and make an effort.
Again, that is not your fault, and it is not on you. It's not usually their fault either. There is a lot of hurt, and a lot of pain in this world, and it takes its toll on everyone, and in turn it takes a toll on you.
So don't assign blame when things don't work out the way you planned. Chalk it up to the fact that there are all kinds of forces and experiences driving everyone else's reality. If you feel that they are worth it, take a little time to recharge and then try again. Keep trying, because it does matter and it does make a difference. Trust me. It may even make a difference that you never even see. It does matter to those people in need though, I know that for a fact.
Just don't let it confuse you into thinking that you are somehow inferior or not good enough. Take pride in your achievements, and more importantly, recognize them as achievements in the first place. If you make a mistake, or try something that makes things a little worse, don't worry about that either. That in itself is an achievement, because now you learned what not to do next time and it's made you a better person at helping someone else. What can be better than that?
You are just the same as everyone else, figuring it out as you go. No one expects you to get it right every single time, so why do you have such unreal expectations for yourself?
One other thing. Recognize when someone is trying to help you. We are guilty of doing the same thing to everyone that they do to us. Perhaps you expect too much out of someone else, but maybe they are doing the best they can and giving you the best that they have. Don't make them feel like they are failing you when they are trying to the best of their ability. Let them know that you appreciate whatever you get and maybe you will get a little more next time. I'm not saying you should put up with shitty behavior and abuse, but just recognize the difference between shortcomings and sociopathic behavior.
And as always, be nice to others and just as nice to yourself. Trust me, you deserve it.
If you do everything in your life expecting great results, you are bound to be disappointed. That disappointment will manifest itself in you if you're not careful, and you will start thinking that you're to blame because somehow you didn't do enough. It can make you think that you you are a failure, that nothing you do makes a difference, or that you don't matter. That's bullshit.
There are a million times everyday when people rise above and beyond what could possibly be expected of them, only to have it fall on deaf ears or go unnoticed by someone that is not in a good place and can't see it. It does not diminish who you are at all.
Often times people are damaged, and it takes a long time and lot of effort to get through to them. Sometimes those people are the same people that are supposed to be there for you. They are your parents, your siblings, your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife. It really fucks a person up when the people that are suppose to take care of them need taking care of, and it really fucks them up when those people don't respond when you put yourself out there and make an effort.
Again, that is not your fault, and it is not on you. It's not usually their fault either. There is a lot of hurt, and a lot of pain in this world, and it takes its toll on everyone, and in turn it takes a toll on you.
So don't assign blame when things don't work out the way you planned. Chalk it up to the fact that there are all kinds of forces and experiences driving everyone else's reality. If you feel that they are worth it, take a little time to recharge and then try again. Keep trying, because it does matter and it does make a difference. Trust me. It may even make a difference that you never even see. It does matter to those people in need though, I know that for a fact.
Just don't let it confuse you into thinking that you are somehow inferior or not good enough. Take pride in your achievements, and more importantly, recognize them as achievements in the first place. If you make a mistake, or try something that makes things a little worse, don't worry about that either. That in itself is an achievement, because now you learned what not to do next time and it's made you a better person at helping someone else. What can be better than that?
You are just the same as everyone else, figuring it out as you go. No one expects you to get it right every single time, so why do you have such unreal expectations for yourself?
One other thing. Recognize when someone is trying to help you. We are guilty of doing the same thing to everyone that they do to us. Perhaps you expect too much out of someone else, but maybe they are doing the best they can and giving you the best that they have. Don't make them feel like they are failing you when they are trying to the best of their ability. Let them know that you appreciate whatever you get and maybe you will get a little more next time. I'm not saying you should put up with shitty behavior and abuse, but just recognize the difference between shortcomings and sociopathic behavior.
And as always, be nice to others and just as nice to yourself. Trust me, you deserve it.
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