Thursday, July 26, 2018

James Gunn

There is a conservative propagandist who got James Gunn fired this week because of some stupid jokes about rape and pedopilia he made on Twitter years ago. He’s digging up old Tweets on a bunch of people he sees as enemies of the GOP agenda, trying to get them fired as well. He was one of the main instigators in the whole stupid Pizzagate fiasco. He isn’t really offended or upset, he’s just using any method he can to attack his foes, and playing on people’s emotions to do it.
Now the jokes James Gunn made were kind of dumb, and offensive, but they were just jokes. There was no hatred or malice behind them. But whatever, Disney has a right to hire or fire whomever they want, and to protect their image. I’m not really going to die on that hill, defending a grown man who made public jokes about taboo subjects he knew would cause controversy. You live by the sword, you die by the sword, lesson learned.
What really gets me is the absurdity of how no one gets context, or how outrage trumps logic. A guy who made some off color jokes about pedophiles is now not allowed to make a goofy movie about space that includes a talking raccoon and a tree, and because of this some people feel full of righteous pride and that justice was served. Meanwhile, Subway had an actual pedophile as their spokesperson, and became aware of it and tried to hide it, but they are still selling millions of sandwiches. The Catholic Church has been reeling from a sexual abuse scandal that they enabled and tried to cover up, and is still happening, yet millions of people still belong to it. Some of those same catholics are happy that James Gunn is getting punished for jokes while giving money to a religious organization that houses pedophiles. There are still plenty of people who are incensed that Penn State got hit with sanctions and the coach that oversaw a program that enabled someone to rape children got fired and had his legacy tarnished.
We are living in a time where words seem to have more weight than the actual atrocities they are referencing. We are more concerned with jokes about these subjects than the fact that every second children are being harmed. Physically and sexually abused, bullied and tormented, murdered in class by some deranged gunman, taken from their parents at the border, the list goes on and on. We sit and argue semantics, and trade propaganda, but still nothing gets done on those fronts. Maybe the reason some people get so offended by jokes on this subject is because the jokes remind us how ineffectual we are to do anything about the real problems. People can push stuff out of their mind that they find unpleasant, and being reminded that it’s there makes them uncomfortable. Maybe going after a comedian or writer makes them feel like they are doing something, I don’t know.
Like I said, I’m not going to spend a lot of time defending a guy who made some offensive jokes, that’s not really my battle. I just think it’s hilarious that people are so easily manipulated, and how much they love drama; meanwhile truly horrendous shit goes on everyday and they somehow find a way to justify it and live with it because it’s easier that way. A lot of things in the world are this way, and I figured out a while ago that very little of it matters. More correctly, a lot of it matters at the time, but it won’t in a week or so because something else will take its place. The things that really matter are constantly protected by bullshit, and smoke and mirrors, so getting exasperated and making yourself miserable because of it is a waste of time.
It’s all one big hilarious joke, and it’s on us, so why waste a lot of time chasing dragons and tilting at windmills and getting upset? Figure out what to do to change it if you can, but don’t let it drive you crazy, and don’t let the absurdity of life take all the fun out of it. Work smart, and you can’t do that if you’re constantly agitated and losing focus on what’s important. If you obsess over it, you usually end up losing sight of what you were upset about in the first place, and you just become part of the show, and why would you want that?

Friday, July 20, 2018

Worth

Here's a little secret about life that many people don't know. If you have half a brain, if you can figure things out and have some sort of ethics, you are a hot commodity. The world literally needs people like you or it will stop working.
This planet is full of people that don't give a shit. People that don't know, and don't want to know. They skate through life, playing dumb (and sometimes not playing) so that others will do their work for them. The only effort they put into anything is to get out of putting effort into anything else.
These people tend to resent others that appear smarter or more competent than they are, so they ridicule them from an early age. Sadly, if you have half a brain and all the other stuff, you also get ridiculed by people that are above you in society because those people are insecure and feel threatened and want to keep you down.
So you end up feeling like you're not worth your true value. You work at your job, and get more and more responsibilities heaped on you because it's easier for your boss to just get you to do it then try to motivate some lout to do their own work. You feel some strange loyalty to your employer to do things right, but even more than that you can't see doing something half assed because what's the point of doing it at all then? You possess logic and empathy and a sense of duty to yourself, rare and admirable traits that often make you feel like a sucker.
You end up working harder and for less money than you're worth, because whether you realize it or not, all that shit people have been giving you all your life has done exactly what they wanted: you don't know your own worth.
Like I said, you are a hot commodity. Employers love people like you, hard workers who don't know what they are worth. Lazy employees love people like you, hard workers that do their jobs for them.
I have been that all my life, but I have never hesitated to ask for raises or promotions or whatever other perks I wanted because I figured out my own worth. I got them every single time. If you can get just a little bit of confidence going, the world is your oyster. Employers will not let you get away, and they can spot people like you when you apply for a job, so don't let them take advantage of you. They actually respect you for asking. It means something to them, you have to prove you have backbone and drive.
Demand what is fair, don't let them cow you into thinking you should be grateful for them letting you work there. You are probably doing a bunch of different jobs that aren't even in your original job description. They need you as much, if not more than you need them.
I know about this issue on both sides of the fence. I have been in management positions too, and I was pretty much told this exact thing by business owners and other people in management. Also, keep this in mind: I'm a business owner and an employer telling you this.
So demand what you’re worth, and not just at work, because no one else is going to do it for you.

Brave New World


I don't usually speculate like this, and this is pretty dark and might seem a bit dramatic, but I'm starting to wonder if in the coming months you're going to see some suicides from some big players in this whole Russian thing. It goes a lot deeper than just Trump. It's beginning to look like it's the whole GOP machine, on every level. I think some fairly powerful people are going to be tried for crimes basically amounting to treason, and I don't think most of them are walking away from it. I think everyone is getting frightened, every other day there seems to be new indictments and people rolling over. People who view themselves as patriots and true Americans would probably rather just kill themselves than be publicly humiliated and branded as traitors. Then again, they seem to have no shame or integrity, so maybe they will hang on to the bitter end and hope for a miracle. I think a lot of stuff is going to come into the light about money and government and the backroom deals and power brokers in Washington. It's not just going to be about the Russians. It's going to be interesting to see how they all handle it, because it's not going to be any fun for them at all. Now this whole thing seems to really be gaining serious momentum, and the consequences are starting to seem very real for a lot of powerful people. This country is going to be dealing with this crisis for quite a while. I don't know, I'm just starting to really get a sense of what this whole thing is going to be, and it feels very ominous. I think the next few years are going to be a real grind, with a lot to sort out and a lot of heartache and misery. I think America is going to be a very different place on the other side of it all, if not the entire world. I could be wrong, but this feels like a huge game charger, like the entire house of cards is getting ready to fall.

Self Help

Everyday, all day, I watch people struggle to do the most mundane tasks, and I just sigh and watch them do it the hard way. If there's one thing people hate more than flailing away at something it's accepting help to make their lives easier. People are weird.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

These Times

Men like Donald Trump have always existed. The difference is, we had enough self esteem and awareness to laugh them out the room when they tried to govern or control us. These are different times, and the decades of dumbing the general population down and fracturing us with fear and anxiety of the unknown is finally paying off for despots and tyrants. There are enough people now that have no grasp on reality and no tools to figure out that they are being manipulated. When you are an abused child, kept in the dark and only fed information your captors want you to have, you think that it's normal and everyone else is a crazy deluded victim. A good third of this country has been gaslighted, and they don't even know it. I think we have saved any of the ones that can be saved. The rest need the equivalent of being committed and deprogrammed, and I don't know if we have the time and resources to do it. Like any other delusional person struggling with addiction or severe mental issues brought on by years of abuse, you're not a trained professional, and you're just going to end up enabling these people, or yelling at them in frustration. That's why more and more, we're all arriving at the conclusion to cut them out of our lives. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. People try to make you feel bad for doing it, but eventually it becomes a matter of survival. It's called tough love. When someone resists everything you do to help them, you have no choice but to let them hit rock bottom. Maybe they'll finally recognize that they need help, and reach out. Heartbroken parents do it to children out of necessity, but I'm supposed to feel bad because I unfriend someone on Facebook? Get a little perspective.

How It Is


I know how it is. I really do. Trust me.
I know that a lot of the time life makes no sense, and the people you love and the people you trust let you down. Over and over. It hurts, and it’s confusing, and it seems to have no rhyme or reason, and maybe it doesn’t. You think maybe you deserve it, or maybe you can fix it, or that maybe you are keeping the world spinning round by sheer force of will. I also know that when it happens, or even sometimes when life is just going along fine, that you can feel like you’re about to be overwhelmed and lose it all. Like there’s only a thin line between an anxiety attack or even a complete mental breakdown. It’s like that collapse is just there waiting for you, sitting over there in the corner, and you have to go about your life so carefully, ensuring that you don’t accidently make eye contact with it. Because if you do, and you lock eyes with all the things you fear, all the worries your mind has been whispering to you all these years, it will all fall apart. This whole house of cards you have been propping up all these years, stitched back together time and time again. You are always one wayward glance away from being knocked off the tightrope.
Thing is, there is no tightrope. You’re firmly on the ground. The tightrope is in your mind, the feeling that you are holding the world together is an illusion, created in your subconscious so you have some feeling of control over things that cannot be controlled. Almost none of the worry and effort you put into the puppeteering and the balancing act matters in the least. In the end people will do what they want, and time and gravity will take care of the rest. I realize all of this and I play the same game you do, wasting my energy, my time, my love, my own sanity to try to keep walking the rope and avoiding the fall. Anything, so I don’t have to look it in the eye and have it tear me and my whole world apart. We are safe, if we only allow ourselves to accept that fact, but we can’t. To accept it would mean we would have to look it in the eye, and that is too much to ask. We have nothing to fear but fear, yet we are all terrified.
I know how it is. I really do.

Monday, July 9, 2018

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

My brother and I used to fight like cats and dogs when we were younger. That’s not really true, cats and dogs usually have much better relationships than we had. There were many times when we actually hated each other. I can remember when we had to walk to church on Sunday morning, and we would actually walk on opposite sides of the street. There are a million stories we both could tell about the horrible things we did to each other, and I don’t think either of us are proud of any of it.
There was a six year age difference between us, and I think that had a lot to do with it. In a lot of ways I looked up to my older brother, and I wanted to be like him, but I was also the baby and I got used to the attention. I would often play to that, sometimes at his expense. I think he resented that, and who wouldn’t at that age? So it carried on as we got older, and we were never really as close as we should have been because we were both too preoccupied or selfish, or in some imaginary competition to ever try to be the bigger person.
A few decades ago, my brother moved to North Carolina, and our relationship started to get better. I know a lot of people will attribute that to distance, but that’s not it at all. We both got older, and our interests kind of caught up with each other. There is a huge difference between a 15 year old and a 21 year old, not so much between a 25 year old and a 31 year old. We also matured, and both did some work on personal growth, and learned how to put a little effort into our relationship.
The end result is that I know consider my brother one of my favorite people and one of my best friends. We talk nearly everyday, and there’s few people in this world that I am closer to. In fact, him living in North Carolina sucks, because at least once a week one of us wishes we lived closer so we could hang out together. My brother taught me a lot about enjoying the moment and being positive. He helped form who I am by setting an example as an older brother, albeit later in life rather than when I was very young. Even when we were young, I did admire him and he did impart his love of music and movies and art to me, but we have had a much bigger impact on each other’s lives nowadays.
The whole reason I am even thinking about any of this is because he has been on vacation in Alaska this past week, and I rarely go this long without talking to him. I find myself wishing once again that we lived closer and could meet for lunch today so he can tell me all about his trip, and I can catch him up on everything he missed in my life.
So if you’re younger, and you have an unhealthy relationship with one of your siblings, take heart, because it will probably get better. If you are older, and you are holding silly grudges about shit that happened when you were kids, maybe let that go and re-introduce yourselves to each other. You are not the same people anymore. At least you shouldn’t be. If that’s the case, you have bigger problems than thinking your brother or sister is an asshole.
Life is too short, and if we had continued to be the same stubborn and stunted people when it came to each other, we both would have missed out on one of the best friendships either of us have.

Caves And Kids

Apparently, there are some Thai kids trapped in a cave. I'm all full of caring and empathy and all that, but I honestly don't really care beyond hoping things work out for the best. I hate to sound like the cynical guy, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not that important. I never understood why people get all invested when a kid falls down a well or in sordid murder trials. And yeah, it's the same thing. Thousands of kids starve to death, or get killed in wars and genocide. There are situations hurting kids and millions of people caused by bad government policy in this country and all over the world, that you could actually do something about with something as simple as a petition or a phone call, which would take the same amount of time you spend pretending you are somehow part of a mine rescue. It's kind of narcissistic and sad. We waste our time getting caught up in the voyeuristic drama of tiny, isolated things, and we miss the big picture. It's creepy entertainment. So like I said, I hope things work out for everyone involved, but it doesn't affect my life or the life of anyone else I know in the least, and talking about it and pretending I'm somehow involved would just be an ego thing, not actually helping or making a difference. But there are situations where we all can make a difference and help, we should invest the time and energy there.

Call Me Abed

Okay Google, call dad.
Did you mean this dad?
Yes Google, I only have one dad. I'm not Nicole Bradford.*

*For anyone under the age of 50, or who has better taste in TV or could care less about pop culture references, Nicole Bradford was the name of the character on My Two Dads, an 80's sitcom where the dads were played by Greg Evigan** and Paul Reiser***

**Before My Two Dads, Greg Evigan was best known for a 70's TV show called BJ And The Bear, about a trucker and his pet chimp that traveled around the country having adventures. I shit you not. He is now on General Hospital.

*** Paul Reiser was a stand up who starred in a show in the 90's called Mad About You, and his character on that show actually gave his apartment to Kramer on Seinfeld and that's how he ended up living across the hall from Jerry. You might know Paul Reiser from season 2 of Stranger Things, where he played Dr. Sam Owens,the director of operations at Hawkins Lab.

So anyway, that's what went through my head when that stupid fucking Google Assistant asked me once again to clarify who I was calling. Can't they fix that already?

Drama Club

We spend so much time vowing to get away from drama, to cut toxic people from our lives, all these things designed to stop wasting our time and energies on. Thing is, people are dramatic. All of us have toxic traits, if we're good, we manage to counterbalance them with good traits. We always fail in our resolve to simplify our lives because life's not simple.
That's not to say you should put up with abusive people, or horrible people who annoy you all the time, but don't ignore reality. We're all a little bit wacky, we all play our part in the freak parade. So instead of being dramatic by making dramatic statements about eliminating drama in your life, just learn to laugh at the absurdity of it all. The only thing in life making you miserable about other people is how you react to their bullshit. And don't be fooled, you have as much bullshit as the next person.
Stop getting angry, stop getting judgmental, stop thinking you're above it all; you're not. Learn to laugh shit off, or this world is going to eat you alive, and you won't even know it until you're eaten, and maybe not even then. Worry about your own attitude, after all, that's the only one you actually have any control over.

Why I Don't Work In Late Night Television

Some 20+ years ago, I was also making up stupid, borderline funny stuff like I am now, but there was no Facebook to share it on to annoy people. So I would scribble stuff down and show it to my friends, and they would humor me. One time, I came up with an idea to send to David Letterman for a top ten list, so I did, but they never used it. Not really surprised. Also, I apologize for the obscurity of some of the show titles, and the fact that a lot of people I know are probably too young to remember most of them or from other countries and have never heard of them.

Top Ten Failed Ideas For Sitcoms On The History Channel

10. Magna Carta, PI
9. Khrushchev Was Eddie's Father
8. My Mother The Czar
7. Famine Affair
6. Mayberry Of Pigs RFD
5. Make Room For Dada
4. Area 51, Where Are You?
3. I Dream Of Idi (Amin)
2. Welcome Back, Martyr
1. Wait Til Your Fuhrer Gets Home

Here Come De Judge ...

Before you start judging people, it's best to keep in mind that humans are very bad at judging anything, even with direct and seemingly infallible evidence.
Take temperature, for example. We all have different ideas about comfortable temperatures and different tolerances to heat and cold. Married couples often fight over the thermostat setting. In the winter, the heat set at 65 warms us up, while in summer, the AC set at 70 cools us off.
There's even a wind chill factor, because moisture in the air and the speed of the wind fools is into thinking it's colder than it is. The heat of the water in the shower is relative to our body temperature, and our own thermal regulating system is subject to wild swings based on slight temperature fluctuations.
The point is, temperature, like all things, is relative. So if you can't even form an accurate and consensus opinion with yourself on what feels hot and cold, what chance do you think you have on judging something as complex and with so many unknown variables as someone else's lifestyle and choices?

Men Will Be Men

Many years ago, my friend took a course in Native American studies at Penn State. He told me of this one parable that some tribe had, meant to explain the relationship between men and women. Seems the women were fed up because they felt they weren't getting enough credit and fair treatment from the men, so they went to live in the other side of the river.
Well, the women struggled to eat, and keep warm with good clothes, because men weren't there to hunt. They lived without adequate shelter, because the men weren't there to build them teepees. They had a really tough time of it because the men weren't there to do everything for them. Meanwhile, the men lived in luxury on the other side of the river, and spent a lot of time masturbating, which was specifically mentioned because apparently that was the only reason they needed the women. The women ended up coming back in defeat, because they needed men more than men needed them.
The point of me sharing this story that my friend told me about long ago is to illustrate that even though we have some beautiful, mystic image of Native American life, they were sometimes douchebags all the same. They had crime and war and rape and murder and misogyny and homophobia and racism, just like all civilizations and societies.
The other point is that most ideologies and dogma was created by men, and a lot of it reflects the fear and insecurities men have, so a good portion of it usually involves blaming women for the ills of the world or making them feel shame and guilt for being a woman. Men have always been douchebags. So much so, they needed to make up a bullshit story about how women are inferior, and incapable of surviving without the benevolence of men, and basically exist to shut up and satisfy men sexually. So don't blame the native Americans. Blame the men.