My brother and I used to fight like cats and dogs when we were younger. That’s not really true, cats and dogs usually have much better relationships than we had. There were many times when we actually hated each other. I can remember when we had to walk to church on Sunday morning, and we would actually walk on opposite sides of the street. There are a million stories we both could tell about the horrible things we did to each other, and I don’t think either of us are proud of any of it.
There was a six year age difference between us, and I think that had a lot to do with it. In a lot of ways I looked up to my older brother, and I wanted to be like him, but I was also the baby and I got used to the attention. I would often play to that, sometimes at his expense. I think he resented that, and who wouldn’t at that age? So it carried on as we got older, and we were never really as close as we should have been because we were both too preoccupied or selfish, or in some imaginary competition to ever try to be the bigger person.
A few decades ago, my brother moved to North Carolina, and our relationship started to get better. I know a lot of people will attribute that to distance, but that’s not it at all. We both got older, and our interests kind of caught up with each other. There is a huge difference between a 15 year old and a 21 year old, not so much between a 25 year old and a 31 year old. We also matured, and both did some work on personal growth, and learned how to put a little effort into our relationship.
The end result is that I know consider my brother one of my favorite people and one of my best friends. We talk nearly everyday, and there’s few people in this world that I am closer to. In fact, him living in North Carolina sucks, because at least once a week one of us wishes we lived closer so we could hang out together. My brother taught me a lot about enjoying the moment and being positive. He helped form who I am by setting an example as an older brother, albeit later in life rather than when I was very young. Even when we were young, I did admire him and he did impart his love of music and movies and art to me, but we have had a much bigger impact on each other’s lives nowadays.
The whole reason I am even thinking about any of this is because he has been on vacation in Alaska this past week, and I rarely go this long without talking to him. I find myself wishing once again that we lived closer and could meet for lunch today so he can tell me all about his trip, and I can catch him up on everything he missed in my life.
So if you’re younger, and you have an unhealthy relationship with one of your siblings, take heart, because it will probably get better. If you are older, and you are holding silly grudges about shit that happened when you were kids, maybe let that go and re-introduce yourselves to each other. You are not the same people anymore. At least you shouldn’t be. If that’s the case, you have bigger problems than thinking your brother or sister is an asshole.
Life is too short, and if we had continued to be the same stubborn and stunted people when it came to each other, we both would have missed out on one of the best friendships either of us have.
No comments:
Post a Comment