Some of you may be sick of my posts all week about how women are treated by men, but I really don’t care. Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that the subject infuriates and upsets me, and I won’t back down from talking about it. I do feel bad though, about the fact that some women who have lived through some of this horrible stuff are affected just by reading about it. Even women that have gotten past it and moved on with their lives can still be triggered when they read some of the things I write about, and even by my anger and vitriol that comes along with it. I apologize to them, and by all means ignore it if you don’t want to be reminded or upset by it. I will continue to speak out about it though, because I just can’t accept it.
So all week I have been talking about the damage it does, and the lives it ruins, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the women that I know that have not let it destroy them, and the women that are still working through it, or the women still in the midst of the violence and abuse.
These people are my heroes.
I know women that have been through things that would cripple most people. Still, they somehow manage to get out of bed each morning and get on with their lives. They may suffer from PTSD, they might live in fear and extreme anxiety, they might see attackers everywhere. They have to remind themselves every day and every minute that all men are not like the ones that victimized and brutalized them.
They live everyday with the memories of what happened and constant reminders of the trauma and pain. Many of them even see their abusers on a regular basis, because most of this stuff goes unreported and/or unpunished. Some of them have children with the men that committed these acts against them, and are forced to interact with them. There are even cases where rapes resulted in pregnancy, and the rapist is awarded custody and visitation rights.
These women are strong. They are to be admired. They are capable of dealing with all this horrible stuff and still managing to function, and even thrive. They reclaim what is theirs, and they come out stronger and more powerful than before. They are survivors, and they are warriors, and like I said earlier, they are heroes.
Even the women that are still so damaged that they might break your heart, or end up addicted, or self-sabotage themselves in a myriad of other ways. The fact that they are still facing the world everyday means that they haven’t given up completely. Some of them face derision and insults because of how they are coping(or not coping) with what they have been through, as if it wasn’t hard enough. Some of their actions you find so offensive are a byproduct of what they have had to endure, and their self worth has suffered, so go a little easy on them.
And if any woman that was a victim of any abuse is reading this, don’t give up. Don’t let it define you. It is not always apparent, but there are good people and organizations that can help you. There are decent people in the world that care and know how to treat others with respect.
Unfortunately, there are also a lot of women in similar situations, but that means that you are not alone. You are not to blame and you are not being singled out by the universe, so many other women can relate to what you are going through. Whether you need to get away from a person or situation, whether you are ready to press charges, whether you are just ready to talk about it and start to reclaim your life, there are people ready to help.
And if you ever think that you can never go on, that you can’t live with your current situation or live with the memories of what you went through, I want to remind you that you are tougher than you think. You are still here, and you are still reading this.
You are still my hero.
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