Happy Idiot

I'm generally a happy guy. I'm pretty upbeat, a lot of fun to be around, and I know how lucky I am and I usually wouldn't want to trade who I am for anything. I feel like the universe in its entirety is a magical and wonderful place and every possibility exists and I could do anything and accomplish whatever I wanted. I'm not prone to depression, I'm not crazy and I'm not a drama queen. But once in awhile, on very rare occasions like today, I think I'd rather be anyone else but me.  I'd like to be a happy idiot, I'd like to forget everything I know and just feel like I fit in somewhere, anywhere at all. I almost never feel that way, even when I was a child. I feel alone in crowds of people, and I will sometimes get out of my car in a parking lot and the sky and the world seems so immense but so empty, like it's not meant for me. Some of my really close friends feel this way at times too, which I guess is one of the reasons they are my friends. Like I said, it's very rare I feel this way and the feeling always passes after a short time, but I can't help but think there's something else out there, somewhere else I belong, and it's not here.