State of affairs

People are who they are, a leopard can’t change its spots.  You’re not going to change anyone’s mind that hates.  

Except that happens all the time.  People that once wore sheets and burned crosses, and had swastikas tattooed on their bodies learned that they were wrong and changed their minds.

The earth is doomed, we have polluted our air and water, climate change is inevitable and we will all be underwater, and whole species are going extinct.

Except that the air is cleaner than it was even a couple of decades ago, even though we have more factories and cars now.  Solar and wind power is on the rise, no matter how hard the robber barons that run the fossil fuel industries try to stop it.  So many species have been brought back from the edge of extinction and are doing better, some thriving.

Crime is everywhere, minorities are destroying the neighborhoods, welfare fraud is everywhere, you aren’t safe outside at night anymore.

Except that crime is down in most areas, and although poverty is rampant in some minority areas, people and organizations are working everyday to form stronger communities and help life people out of poverty. Blighted neighborhoods are being revitalized everyday. By a wide margin, welfare is helping good, honest people that need it, and more white people get welfare than minorities.  We only hear about the bad and sensational stories because that’s what sells.  It’s not reality.

The Trump administration is destroying America, and the government is broken and can never be fixed.  Our freedoms are being stripped away, and America is headed for a collapse.

Except there have been as many bad presidents and administrations as well as good ones.  The pendulum swings back and forth, and no one person or administration is going to topple the United States government.  There has always been corruption, there has always been a battle to keep the corporate interests from taking over our leadership, but we the people and the Constitution always have something to say about it and win out in the end.  Even though Republicans have a majority on all sides of government, they can’t get anything done because the people won’t let them take our rights and programs away.  There is actually good in this whole scenario; this is a wake up call, because a lot of us have been asleep for far too long.

The point is, people tend to gravitate towards the negative aspects of things, but if that were reality the human race would be long gone by now.  People have been predicting the end times for millennia, and yet here we are, with a lot of us still working for the betterment of mankind, and for the most part we are winning.  I could cite example after example of this, but I don’t have that kind of time, this should be enough to illustrate my point. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but change is constant, so we all have to do our part while we are here and pass the torch to a new generation to carry on the work.  And if you think things are that horrible, go out and make them a little bit better.  There is no shortage of people and things that need help and attention.  

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/mv5djb/these-former-skinheads-are-fighting-racism-106

https://www.epa.gov/clean-air-act-overview/progress-cleaning-air-and-improving-peoples-health

https://www.ecowatch.com/10-success-stories-thanks-to-the-endangered-species-act-1881837279.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/02/16/the-biggest-beneficiaries-of-the-government-safety-net-working-class-whites/

http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/02/21/5-facts-about-crime-in-the-u-s/  

http://www.npr.org/2017/06/23/533840991/despite-claims-to-contrary-trump-has-signed-no-major-laws-5-months-in

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/26/opinion/donald-trumps-first-100-days-the-worst-on-record.html  

Sharing Is Caring

To all you people on Facebook with weird hangs up.  I get it, we all have weird hang ups about a lot of things. I’ve got them too, but I try to overcome them when they affect other people, which is what we should all strive for.

In this instance, I am talking about people on Facebook with the strange habit of not liking too many things.  There are a bunch of you out there, I know plenty of you that have explained their bizarre reasoning for limiting their “likes” output. They seem to think liking too many things dilutes their opinion, or makes them seem too frivolous with their praise.  Some people think that sharing too much stuff means that their important things will get lost in the process, but honestly I don’t think that there is a real rhyme or reason to Facebook's algorithm, at least not one you are going to figure out to get your cat pictures to the top of the list.  That is your warped ego talking.  No one is tracking your “likes”, no one thinks your opinion carries more weight or you’re cooler or anything.  No one cares.

Well, that’s not entirely true, Facebook tracks them and they care.  Their advertisers care.  Why should that matter?  Well, there are a lot of creative people on Facebook, and they put stuff out there because they are trying to make a living, or get a career off the ground, or just get some traction for something they care about. Yes, I’m included in that group, so I’m speaking on behalf of myself and everyone else like me.  

Self promotion is a huge part of an artist’s thing, and it is hard to do because it makes you feel like an idiot, and desperate or intrusive at times.  We are all self-conscious and full of doubt, so it goes against everything all of us have been taught about blowing your own horn and being humble.

When you like or share something that someone worked hard on, all your friends see it too.  That gives people a lot of exposure and could get them new fans, friends or followers.  Likes, shares, followers, etc, is the new currency, and by clicking like or sharing, you are basically giving your friends a little more power, a little wider audience, a little more encouragement to continue doing something that that means a lot to them.  Just once in awhile, that’s all it takes.

There are even other artists that don’t share each other’s work, or point their base towards their friends, and I think it’s just that people don’t think about or understand how this stuff works. No one is saying to fill your feed everyday with a thousand posts by the same person, just if you see something that someone put a piece of themselves into, reward it with a like, and maybe a share once or twice a year.

Now, There are people that will chime in about being needy, or narcissistic and all that, and while every single artist is definitely needy and has an ego to feed, that’s not what this is about.  It is the reason most creative people feel self conscious about asking for others to share their stuff.  You don’t have a problem when some celebrity asks you to share something, you all have your pet causes and petitions to sign that you share.  It’s the same thing, you are sharing to get things noticed and help out people or a cause.   I really don’t care what people think of me on this subject at this point, so whatever, I’ll take the bullet.

When you share a friend’s music or band posts, you might expose people to their music that end up buying a cd or attending a show.

When you share someone’s artwork, you expose it to people that might buy a print or a painting or pottery that is their main source of income, and maybe get them enough notice where they can use that traffic to get into a gallery or museum.

When you share someone’s post about their small business, whether they do graphic design, face painting, or have a store on Etsy, they basically run it themselves and always need any clients they can get.  You are helping them survive and put food on their children’s plate.

When you share an author’s work, stories they write or books they are selling, or blogs or podcasts that they are trying to get traffic to, you are helping them get stats that they can point to at some point when they are trying to interest publishers or advertisers, as well as exposing their work to a wider audience.  

On top of everything else, you are helping them by encouraging them and giving them a little indication that someone appreciates their effort, and that their passion is not in vain.  I think I can speak for a lot of creative people when I say that there are times when you think you are whistling into the wind and you wonder what the point is.  There are so many people that have their passion snuffed out because no seems to care at all.

When you think about all you can do for someone with one little click of your mouse, does it really seem like too much to ask?  There is nothing but good that can come from liking or sharing or following a friend’s work. It literally is the least you can do.

What to do and not do when someone has a problem

What to do and not do when someone has a problem:

Do not:

Tell them you’re disappointed in them

Tell them not to be silly or that they should be smarter than that

Proceed to tell them everything they’ve done wrong and explain how to fix it in minute detail

Ignore what they say and start bitching about your own problems

Tell them to get over it

Start assigning blame

Do:

Tell them you’re sorry that they are having a problem

Ask if there’s anything you can do to help

Artistic Endeavors

If you tally up all the works of literature, all the movies made, all the music mankind has produced, 90% of it is about failure and misery and heartache, with a little redemption tacked on the end once in awhile. That's why we have all those things, so we can live with it and sing or laugh along when we really want to cry.

Tentative

Good lord, there are a lot of tentative motherfuckers out there. You see them all the time, at a four way stop, unsure of what order they arrived in, not sure when to go. Pulled halfway out of their driveways, looking frightened and lost. In parking lots, in the aisle at the grocery store, ordering in line at a fast food place, you name it. All of them, scared to commit to a course of action, terrified of how people might react to what they say or do.

Life is short, people. Get a fucking move on and start living it. Stop cowering, stop denying yourself, stop caring what strangers think of your every move. Look the rest of the world in the fucking eye like you have just as much right to be there as they do, and get on with being your badass self.

Growing Up

At some point in your life, every single person you know is bound to come out with some comment that makes you look at them incredulously and think that they might just be bat shit crazy like the rest of the world.  

When you’re younger, you tend to be absolute, and once that happens, you dismiss those people and distance yourself from them.

When you get older, you come to realize that everyone isn’t going to think exactly like you, and you stop demanding so much out of everyone.  You learn what differences of opinion or belief matter, and which ones you can live with, and you learn acceptance.  You come to understand that this is as good as it gets, and that’s enough.

Basically, when you get older, you realize that love or friendship, or life, for that matter, doesn’t simply exist on your own terms, and you come to see how frivolous you were with the people that cared about you in your life.

If we don’t forgive each other their faults, how can we begin to forgive ourselves?

Politicians And Whatever Trump Is

The main thing that you have to remember when you hear a politician speak is that 9 times out of 10 they don't actually believe the words that they're saying.  They are beholden to their party, the powerful people and corporations that contribute to their campaign, and of course their constituents.  Most of the time though, they are just exchanging rhetoric with the other side.  They use a lot of hyperbole, and they stretch the truth until it breaks sometimes, but that's always been what politics was about.

Senators and Congressmen often appear to be on the wrong side of issues, but the thing about you have to understand about that is that they represent their particular states and districts, and if the biggest employer in your neck of the woods makes guns or alcohol or mines coal, you have a responsibility to the people that sent you to Washington to fight for those jobs and to bring money and employment to your towns. Those industries and corporations are keeping the pressure on too, so by the time you get those jobs, the pay rate and benefits will be considerably less than promised.  All the time you're trying to balance what's good for your hometown population, the country, the environment, and the general population's welfare along with your reelection chances.

So you have people in government doing things that are questionable for what they sometimes feel is the greater good and self preservation, and it doesn't look like that, especially when it goes against something you feel strongly about.

Of course, there are just some politicians that are scumbags and bottom feeders, and don't give a crap about America, but it's really a lot less than you think.  Most of the people that got into politics have at some point in their early careers wanted to change things.  They had goals and aspirations, and truly want a life of public service.  People and their ideals get corrupted, but who can honestly say that it never happened to them in their lifetime?  Usually over something much less intense or complex than the national budget or gun control.

That is the fractured, dual life of a politician, and I can't say for a second how I would handle all that responsibility and pressure.  I'm not saying to feel sorry for them, I'm just saying there are a lot of pressures and complicated issues at play that most people don't consider when they get on a rant.

That all said, here's the real problem with Trump and his cronies.  He was never a politician.  He never cared about anything but his bottom line and his own massive ego.  He doesn't understand the first thing about public service or sacrifice for the better good.  He doesn't want to learn either, he just wants to steamroll his way through everything like a petulant child, and when he doesn't get his way, he pouts and name calls.

He has surrounded himself with like minded people.  People that only care about one part of any issue, and that part is making money, whether by loosening up regulations put in place to protect the environment or the economy or you and me.  They want to raid the government coffers, they want to bleed every penny out of the working class, and starve the poor out of existence.  They have no pity, no empathy, no sense of common decency.  They are the decadent people of ancient Rome, fiddling while the country burns.

This is what you voted for.  You put predators in charge, and you sit in your echo chamber while they pick you off, one by one. Your pension disappears, your medicare and social security dries up, your drinking water poisons you, and the air turns the lungs of your children black.

While this is going on, the politicians see their opportunity, and while the circus goes on they push their bills and resolutions through as the country is distracted. They know that this administration can't hold up.  They know even now that it is dysfunctional beyond repair, but they remain non-committal and wait for the very last second to jump the sinking ship.  That is what most skilled politicians do, gage the weather and figure out how long they can ride something out without getting tainted themselves.

Meanwhile, we sit and we don’t care to understand the issues, we can’t be bothered showing up to vote, and we can’t compromise or come to any consensus on anything.  Then we complain that government has stalled.  As much as we don’t want to admit it, we are at fault.  All of us.  We let our petty disagreements get in the way of progress, and that gives politicians and weasels all the ammunition and opportunity in the world to make sure nothing gets resolved.  These people are used to working in turmoil, they thrive in it.  They like when the herd is spooked, and there’s nothing but dust clouds and panic and the scent of blood fills the nostrils.  Then they can start picking off the weak, and the feast is on.

Meanwhile, the average person is anxious, confused, and scared of vague dangers that might not even be real.  So we surrender control, and we give up some of our freedoms, and the people that prey on us get a little fatter and we wonder why.

+ vs -

I think it's funny that some people keep posting whatever horrible or stupid thing Trump does and expect this to be the thing that makes Trump supporters have an epiphany and realize that they are wrong. There are plenty of people that stood by Nixon through Watergate, and still feel that he got a raw deal. Hell, there are a lot of people that think the South was right to keep slaves, and that Hitler had the right idea. Now it's true, that many of the people that think these things are also Trump supporters, but that's not all of them. The sad thing is that his supporters that don't believe those things can't see the light it casts them in when they throw in with that lot.
Point is, they already know all the horrible and shocking stuff you're telling them, so why bother anymore? They are either okay with it or tune it out and live in blissful ignorance. Pointing out how stupid or wrong you think they are only proves to them how right they are. You're going to have to make your peace with the fact that some Trump supporters are people that just disagree with your political beliefs, then block them or let them be. Chiding and attacking them will never achieve anything at all. It won't convert them, it won't convince them, it won't result in any productive and rational political discussions, it won't have any beneficial effects whatsoever.
Take all that time and energy you spend feeling superior to others and telling everyone how wrong they are because they don't think like you and put it towards getting the people you want to lead us elected. Volunteer to work for a candidate you like, make calls, get voters out to the polls, whatever.
As with everything in life, put your energy towards positive endeavours and get positive results. Put your energy towards negative efforts and everybody loses. It's really a pretty simple equation.

Huggy Bear

There are two types of people in the world. Well, there are millions of types of people, but for sake of this little essay we're only concentrating on two: people who like to be touched and people who don't.

I am a touchy feely guy. I was raised in a family that was very hands on, literally. As a small child I was always in someone's lap, or being hugged and kissed and all that. One of my earliest and happiest memories is sitting on my grandfather's lap and feeling his razor stubble on my face when he hugged me.

My parents are very affectionate, and I always felt safe and loved because they lavished that affection on me. They are that way with each other. They have been married nearly 60 years, and they still hold hands as they walk together. My family still hugs each other whenever we see each other, and because of that, I am an awesome hugger.

I love being close to the woman I happen to be in a relationship with at the time. Nothing makes me happier than cuddling on the couch while watching TV. I love sleeping all wrapped up with another person. I love skin on skin. I love making out and canoodling and whatever else that entails.

Now, there are a bunch of people reading this, and their skin is crawling. Some people don't like it, or have intimacy issues, or whatever, and that's fine. I feel bad for those people, though. I have dated girls that didn't like it. I dated one girl that couldn't stand to be touched on her elbows or knees or wrists because she felt like the bones were too close to the skin at those places and it freaked her out. Everyone's got issues.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people that drapes themselves over someone and suffocates them. I understand about personal space, and I know it has to be mutual. It is like torture for me though to sit there, night after night, because the person I am seeing never wants intimacy. They are just the other type of person we're talking about, and that's fine for them, but it sucks for me.

It reminds me of one time when I was in a pet shop, and they had a parrot for sale with a sign on its cage that touted it as “hand raised”. The guy at the store explained that raising them with constant human contact makes them more affectionate and results in a deeper bond with humans. They crave contact.

So it made me sad that there was another sign on the cage that warned not to put your fingers in the cage or touch the bird at all. The poor thing was pressed up against the bars, desperate to touch anyone, to feel human contact, just like it had been raised to do. I felt so horrible for the wretched thing that I was going to buy it right then and there until I saw that they wanted 550 dollars for it! I feel like that damn bird.

So I have been alone for awhile now, and while I'm pretty comfortable with all the mental aspects of solitary life, it is like torture for me not to have human contact. I hear that you can pay people to cuddle with you, but the thought of that just makes me lose the will to live. It just seems wrong.

Somehow, paying for sex seems much nobler than paying for cuddles.

I miss it. I miss just holding hands with someone. I miss playing footsie. I miss just running my hand across someone's back or shoulders as I pass them by in the kitchen. I miss when you hug someone and they press into you because they can't get close enough.

God help me, I miss people.

Top Five Amazing Things ...

Top 5 amazing incredible things that we take for granted:

5. Cell phones. We have a phone, camera, TV, library, and a million other things in our pocket.

4. The Internet. We have the entire world at our fingertips anytime we need it.

3. Medical science. We are living longer than ever before, with a quality of life that's 100 times better than it was just a half century ago.

2. Electricity. I don't even have to explain this.

1.Any person that loves and supports you no matter what.

Liberal Pep Talk

Judging by a lot of people's reaction to the Comey hearing (although I do recall someone recently say Democrats aren't even people), I think everyone needs a pep talk, so I'll do my best.

I see a lot of people terrified that Trump is a sign of things to come, that the country is doomed and freedom and democracy are done. That's nonsense.

I'm not saying that it's not bad right now, but some perspective, please. The country has been through a lot worse than a presidential term with a nitwit and crook in the oval office.

We have the Constitution, and it is a thing of beauty. It is one of the most amazing and resilient pieces of work in the history of civilization. Trump's presidency is not a dismantling of that, it is yet another test case that will be demolished by it. There are people in government that take seriously their vow to uphold that document, you saw one of them testify at a Senate hearing today. That should give you hope, not only because someone did what was right, but also because he was a Republican, and he put country ahead of party. That was nothing to shrug off on these partisan times.

Perhaps you were expecting something else, but believe me, today was glorious. What you saw today was someone laying the groundwork for what's to come, despite how right wing media and Trump's fellow Republicans and law team try to spin it. It is not looking pretty, and this cloud will not blow over anytime soon, so Trump and his cohorts better get used to it.

It may not seem like it now, but we are winning. A lot. This administration can't get any of its policies or initiatives passed, and is as dysfunctional as it gets. We are not making it easy, so keep up all the calls and petitions and protests, because the people really do have the power.

Sure the foxes are raiding the chicken coop while they have the chance, but most career Republican politicians know that the ship is taking on water, so they'll ride it out as long as they can and flee the sinking ship at the last minute. They know Trump is in way over his head and that he's completely unqualified. He is a worm in a den of vipers. If he thought dealings in the business world would prepare him for the cutthroat life in politics, he has had a rude awakening. He knows he's way out of his league, and so do the people taking advantage of the situation right now. When the time comes, they will hang him out to dry and it will be back to business as usual.

So we all need to relax, and keep in mind that no one man or administration is greater than the Constitution and what this country represents. It is a tumultuous time in this country, and unfortunately some people are going to get hurt by policy and bad decisions, but that's always been the case.

Politics is made up of a lot of rhetoric and jockeying for position. It is fluid and full of hyperbole made to make tiny things feel like the end of the world, only to be forgotten with the next news cycle. It is life and death seriousness and theater of the absurd art the same time, so don't get hung up on any one thing because you will miss ten other things that are actually important.

The country is safe, our democracy is safe, it's just going through more growing pains. That's the beauty of our Constitution, two hundred plus years later and we're still learning, but the guidelines laid out by our forefathers still lead us and give us something to protect their ideals. Our ideals.

This country is still a miracle, and despite recent events, is still a beacon of democracy. This is what that all looks like, it is our duty and our birthright to remember and defend it. These are dangerous times, but thank God there are still enough of us to resist. Did you think that would be easy? Did you think it would happen overnight?

No, the wheels of justice turn slowly. Stay the course and everything will be fine. Don't give in to the negative. Don't let minor setbacks get you discouraged.

The founders of this country fought a long, hard war to gain their freedom, and their future was very much in doubt for a lot of it. Even if they survived the war, they all would have been hung for treason had they lost. Still, they persevered.

The north could have easily lost the Civil War. So many people saw their children, their husbands, their parents killed in the battlefield. Brother fought against brother. Still, they persevered.

Women fought for the right to vote. They were treated like property, and derision and scorn rained down on them. Still, they persevered.

Two world wars, Americans at home dealing with rations, and housewives going to work in the factories, while soldiers were coming home in body bags. Still, they persevered.

The Civil Rights movement, lynchings and Martin Luther King assassinated. The 60’s and the Vietnam War, and Nixon. Still, they persevered.

Still, we persevere, because we owe it to everyone that sacrificed and did their job, and didn't wring their hands and complain and look to give up.

So get a good night's sleep and get up tomorrow and get back at it and fight for what you believe in. There is no reason to fear tyrants, they should be afraid of us.

Give them reason to fear.

Kathy Griffin

Sigh. Kathy Griffin is a comedian. She held up a prop given to her by a photographer, known for pushing the boundaries. She wasn't calling for anyone's assassination, she wasn't committing treason. She also wasn't making some bold, thought out political statement, or being brave. There was no grand scheme beyond taking some publicity photos.

To say that it's okay that she did it because conservatives have said or done things towards Obama is self defeatist. Two wrongs don't make a right and all that. But that's not the point that most people are making. The things conservatives said and the effigies they made were fueled by hatred and racism. They were despicable. They hearkened to darker times in our history, taking the image of the first Afro-American president and portraying him being lynched. It's the equivalent of portraying a Jewish political leader in a Nazi concentration camp gas chamber, and cheering about it.

Was what Kathy Griffin did in bad taste? Perhaps, but bad taste is not illegal or unconstitutional. In fact, it is one of the ideas that had been upheld by the constitution more than most any other. That's why the people that made the deplorable Obama crap aren't in jail either. The difference is, Donald Trump's ancestors(and by ancestors, I  mean parents and a couple generations, not some distant millennia ago) were never beheaded or threatened to be decapitated. His people were not oppressed, or discriminated against, or spent their first couple of centuries in America as property. Conservatives also publicly called for Obama’s execution, and used his image on shooting range targets, and nothing like that happened in the Griffin incident.

That's why there is no comparison between what Kathy Griffin did and what conservatives did. Not even close. My bullshit detector is going off in regards to Trump’s comment about his kid seeing it and being traumatized. Considering that Trump is a pathological liar, I don't think I'm out of line saying that. He doesn't even live with his own wife and child, so I'm not sure how much he knows about what goes on with him anyway.

Ultimately though, I don't give a shit. I don't care whether Republicans are outraged or offended or whatever Fox News tells them to feel. know people that are conservatives, in the sense that their political philosophy is spend less and have a strong military and all. I don't hear them saying shit about Kathy Griffin. I see the other “Republicans”, the ones full of hatred and scorn, misogyny and racist attitudes, poster children for the Dunning Kruger effect. The one's that didn't even care about politics until a black guy got elected. Let me be clear about this: I don't care about the opinions of uninformed, hate-filled people about current events. I'm actually tired of hearing most people's opinion on the outrage of the day, and yes, I see the irony here. There are more important things in the world to expend your time and energy on than a comedian holding up a fake head. It's not shocking, it's not trauma inducing, it's not even that offensive. If you're that offended by it you really need to get out more and see the truly offensive things going on in the world. You see worse stuff on prime time TV.

If you want to be offended, be offended by the millions of people that will get screwed out of healthcare if Republicans get their way. Be offended that this administration is hell bent on destroying what's left of the environment and personal freedoms and basically everything we hold dear in the Constitution. Be offended that gay people are being rounded by the Chechnya with Putin’s support and put in concentration camps while protections for the LGBT in this country are being destroyed. Be offended that innocent people are still being blown up and shot by terrorists over religious and political differences in this day and age. Be outraged about real life and death stuff going on right now, as we speak, and spend the time you waste talking about some minor celebrity actually doing something worthwhile.

Now let's all go see what other truly offensive things have taken place in the fifteen minutes I've been writing this.

Million Tiny Cuts

Honestly, sometimes life seems like its dispatched a thousand tiny assassins to kill you with a million little cuts. Dramatic way of saying it seems like everything that can go wrong will.
For a moment, it feels like you're going to break instead of bend, but then you stop and breathe and put everything into perspective, and you sigh and keep going.
If there's anyone else going through it right now, just keep going. Things are going to get better, and it will all look much less significant in hindsight, believe me. That might not seem like much solace now, but that's the truth.
So try not to get down, stay positive, and don't let things aggravate you that normally wouldn't, just because you're frustrated by something else.
Keep your eye on the light. You'll get there.

The Women I've Known

If you could have known the women I've loved, and felt the way they loved you like they loved me, you would have fallen in love with them too.

If you could have seen the way they smiled at you, the difference you made in their lives and the difference they made in yours, the way they made you feel, you would have sworn your life to them and never wanted to leave.

In the end, when it all became too big and scary and they left, you would have felt the hole they left in your life. In your heart. Because they never saw themselves the way you saw them. Or maybe they did, but convinced themselves that they couldn't believe it could ever be true.

And maybe you couldn't see yourself the way they did either, and if so, why would they believe it when you told them?

So whether they failed you or you failed them, and your heart broke so hard you thought you wouldn't make it, you would still find it in you to smile.

Because you would have fallen in love with them too.

No Easy Way Out

Thanks to the Internet and non stop media reports on garbage and pseudo science, we are all preoccupied and obsessed with nonsense. How much water we drink per day and what temperature it is, how much sleep we get and our circadian rhythms, superfoods and antioxidants and food allergies and intolerances, psychic energies and essential oils, good and bad cholesterol, grains and probiotics, marijuana curing every disease known to man, GMO’s and organic vegetables, fibromyalgia and joint health, holistic and homeopathic medicine, the list goes on and on.
Not that there aren't some important, legitimate and interesting aspects to some of those things, but most of the people obsessed with them have no clue what they're talking about. That's not entirely their fault. We get our information from reports generated by bogus studies and articles produced by Madison Avenue, not science, reported by corporate shills disguised as journalists. We get our information from self help books and infomercials, twisted and skewed by hucksters and snake oil salesmen, men trying to separate us from our money.
We live in the information age, and we choose nothing but misinformation. It is still the same thing it's always been; we're gullible and easily swayed by the things we want to hear, and we'll give our time and money to those that promise us the world and tell us what we want to hear.
So we smoke and drink and eat fast food and think blueberries will ward off cancer, but we don't even have a clue what an antioxidant is. We cut gluten out of our diet but continue to eat vegetables grown too quickly and genetically manipulated to look fresh longer at the cost of lost nutrients, or a stew of chemicals masquerading as food. We worry so much about getting the right amount and correct quality of sleep that we lie awake at night, neurotic over it. That's why we think footlong sandwiches are eating healthy.
We like to think we're being proactive, but we don't have a clue what we're doing, and they're not going to tell us as long as we're content to pay more money for the word “organic” on the label or for yogurt that makes us poop regularly. By the time anything that is supposed to be good for you reaches market, the powers that be have gutted any regulations that ensure what you're getting is really what they tell you you’re getting.
The bottom line is money and profit, and always has been. That's why slave labor and children make our consumer goods, why there is lead in toys, and poison in the air we breathe and the water we drink.
We know this, but as long as we all keep up the lie and fool ourselves into thinking a few inconsequential lifestyle tweaks will make it all better, nothing will change. The emperor has no clothes, and no one wants to point it out.
So try to eat less processed foods in a well balanced diet and get some exercise.  Do everything, good and bad, in moderation. Sleep when you're tired, and if you miss out on a couple of hours make it up the next night. Drink when you're thirsty.
Stop looking for the easy way out, because even though it doesn't exist, someone is always going to be there to offer it to you, for a price. We've been paying that price for eternity.

Happy Idiot

I'm generally a happy guy. I'm pretty upbeat, a lot of fun to be around, and I know how lucky I am and I usually wouldn't want to trade who I am for anything. I feel like the universe in its entirety is a magical and wonderful place and every possibility exists and I could do anything and accomplish whatever I wanted. I'm not prone to depression, I'm not crazy and I'm not a drama queen. But once in awhile, on very rare occasions like today, I think I'd rather be anyone else but me.  I'd like to be a happy idiot, I'd like to forget everything I know and just feel like I fit in somewhere, anywhere at all. I almost never feel that way, even when I was a child. I feel alone in crowds of people, and I will sometimes get out of my car in a parking lot and the sky and the world seems so immense but so empty, like it's not meant for me. Some of my really close friends feel this way at times too, which I guess is one of the reasons they are my friends. Like I said, it's very rare I feel this way and the feeling always passes after a short time, but I can't help but think there's something else out there, somewhere else I belong, and it's not here.

Basketball

So one time in the early 90’s, I was outside a nearby concert arena.  I was there because some local bands were playing on an outside stage at some festival or something.  I really don’t remember the details.  At any rate, my friend and I had gotten there real early, and there was nothing going on yet.  The bands hadn’t even arrived.  There was a smaller building next to the arena, almost like a huge high school gymnasium, and a bunch of other early birds were gathered inside, milling about.  There were about eight basketball backboards and nets about the place, perhaps the local college team practiced here, and some people had picked up basketballs and started shooting hoops.

Now I had always been epically bad at basketball.  I can’t dribble.  I can’t shoot jumpers, I can’t make layups.  I can’t even sink a free throw, even if I shoot the really lame underhand way.  So I’m not sure what made me decide to go grab a ball and start shooting baskets.  Perhaps I was feeling a little too good about myself that morning.

No one was more surprised than me when I made my first shot from about ten feet out.  Then my next one.  Then my next.  I did miss a few here and there, but in the next 20 minutes I probably sank 75% of the shots I made, a couple from what would have been behind the three point line.

Turns out, I was now some kind of idiot savant at basketball, a real life Forrest Gump.

So that week I bought a basketball and for the next eight months or so I would keep it in my trunk and go to playground basketball courts and shoot hoops.  First with my friend Bryan, who pretty much hated it, and even on my own, trying to join in on pickup games when I saw them.

Thing is, I stunk.  I was worse than I had been in high school.  Try as I might, I couldn’t make a basket to save my life.  I looked like an idiot, and other people just laughed at me or stood in shocked amazement and felt embarrassed for me.  Whatever magic I had that morning in the gym was long gone.  Finally, I just accepted the fact that it was an aberration and I would never be good at basketball again.

So if you were having some really tough time of it one Saturday morning in 1991, and however hard you prayed, God didn’t answer or help you out, it wasn’t your fault.  He was busy at some gymnasium, setting some moron up for an cruel, eight month long practical joke.

Dream Girl

So I had one of my long, involved dreams last night. I lived with a bunch of people, most of them strangers I had just met when we moved in together, and we all got tickets to see some concert. The dream took place over the month leading up to the concert. One of my new roommates was a women, and we didn't get along at first. There were a bunch of awkward moments, and there were some days when other things were going on in the dream, with other real life or made up people. This imaginary roommate girl at first didn't like the things about me that I didn't like either, things like my looks or physical appearance, where I am in life right now. As all the different threads in the dream started to come together as the day of the concert approached, everything started to change between this woman and me. Her sister lived with us too, and I remember how pissed off she was when her sister started spending more time with me. Finally, the day of the concert arrived and all sorts of obstacles kept coming up that separated everyone, or made us late for the show. I was getting really agitated (for some reason, I was really upset that we were going to miss the opening act, Government Mule), then I ran into the woman, and she told me to just come back home and relax and we would figure out what to do. We went back, and lay down together on the couch, and I fell asleep. I woke up in the dream and looked at her, asleep in my arms, and thought to myself 'I love this woman so much, and I can't wait to tell her when we woke up'. Then, I woke up for real, I was really content and happy for a moment, thinking about the girl I loved. And then I realized she wasn't real, and it all was a dream. I never even found out her name.
So now I feel more lonely than I did when I went to sleep last night. Your brain likes messing with you like that. Who knows, though? Maybe somewhere in the world she is real, and last night she too had a dream about some guy that really annoyed her, but she got to know him, and she also ended that dream in love and asleep on their couch in his arms. Maybe someday, long after the memory of the dream has faded, we'll meet, and feel like we met somewhere before, and we'll fall in love for real.
I know that's a real long shot, but a guy can dream, can't he?

Disturbing truths

Disturbing truths I've had to come to grips with over the course of my life:

I think there was only one women I've ever been with that seriously wanted to be my wife, at least for a little while

No boss or business owner really cared about me on a personal level. I was always about profit and loss in the end.

At this point, I'm never going to have kids of my own.

Any drug addict or alcoholic cares more about drugs or alcohol than you.

Nearly every elected official is mostly concerned about their own interests and reelection, and serving the rich and powerful that really run this country.

Sometimes people are too far gone to save, no matter how much you love them, and there's nothing you can do but let them go or watch them destroy themselves.

I will outlive all of my heroes, and living a long life will most likely mean that I will outlive most of my friends too.

The writers on Lost never had a good ending in mind and just gave up and took the easy way out. I mean, fans guessed purgatory in the first season, and as much as they denied it for the next five years or so, in the end all the extra mystical and quantum physics crap they tried to throw in didn't hide the fact that it was basically fucking purgatory.