When confronted with backwards and racist thinking, I often remark with something to the effect of "some people are just never going to get it", but I'm thinking that is just writing them off as a lost cause. Then I remember that people redeem themselves everyday. Millions of people that grow up being taught that abuse and neglect and hatred are normal sometimes unlearn that behavior. Many times these people become the most outspoken critics of these things.
Now I know I have mentioned many times how I was bullied when I was a child, and those bullies often came from messed up homes. They learned abuse at home, and acted accordingly. Then again, I had two friends that lived around the corner, Patrick and Andrew. Their home life wasn't ideal. Their father drank, and could be pretty violent at times, and I was there and saw him berate and hit his children in the face on several occasions. Now Patrick and Andrew were tough as nails, and could beat up anyone in town, even kids a lot older. The thing is, they never bullied anyone that I ever saw, and in fact, would stick up for me when other kids tried. For growing up in that environment, they could be the nicest, most gentle kids I ever saw, even though they were also the toughest.
So I can't say that anyone is a lost cause. That doesn't mean it is always my job to teach them, but any of us can lead by example. It's ultimately up to them to change, but I don't have to make it harder on them by telling them that they are worthless and can't do any better.
Please note that this does and doesn't apply to the neoNazi assholes rioting and causing acts of terrorism recently. It is right to call them out and shame them and neuter them before they hurt more people. That is part of the hard lesson they must learn, to realize that this behavior is unacceptable in society and will not be tolerated. Some punishment is just. But also, it doesn't mean that they cannot be redeemed. You might see six months or a year or even ten years from now that some of these people will learn their lesson. You might see them speaking out against the ideologies and actions that they once used to partake in. That's something even the worst of us are capable of, and I don't want to take that opportunity and redemption away from anyone by telling them it isn't possible.
Look at the statement released by the family of one of the rioters, telling him that he is not welcome in the family until he denounces his ways and changes. It expressly condemns his actions and who he is right now, but it offers a chance at redemption. It offers him a way back home. Now it is up to him to accept. It remains to be seen if he will or if he won't, but at least he is afforded the option.
So from now on I will try to remember all this, and instead of saying that someone is a lost cause, I will simply tell them that they aren't ready to understand yet. I will condemn their racism and bigotry and hatred, but I will let them know that they can find redemption and grow and learn.
I will not deny someone their path to the light.
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