When I was a kid ...

When I was a kid, there was a sitcom about prisoners of war having fun, going on dates, and outwitting a bunch of goofy, lovable Nazis.

When I was a kid, there was a cartoon that centered around a horny skunk trying to rape a cat.

When I was a kid, there was a comic in the paper everyday about a drunk, British guy who would beat the shit out of his wife.

When I was a kid, there was a comic book about a girl with an eating disorder, and she ate way too much and suffered through a lot of fat jokes, but the more she ate, the stronger she got so could beat people up, so it was okay.

When I was a kid, the coolest guy in the world was a narcissistic TV character who used the threat of violence to solve problems, and went on incestuous dates with twins and triplets.

When I was a kid, there was a TV show about a dumb guy who was always screwing up, and when his wife pointed it out, he would threaten to punch her so hard she would fly to the moon.

When I was a kid, there was a cartoon about a mentally challenged cat who would annoy a bad tempered mouse she was in love with, so he would hit her in the head with bricks, and she would mistake that for a sign of affection.

When I was a kid, there was a comic book about a clinically depressed soldier forced to be in the army, and all the hilarious ways his life was miserable.

When I was a kid, a popular cartoon character was mumbling, cursing sailor whose answer to every problem was to eat spinach and beat the shit out of anyone he didn’t like.

When I was a kid, all the boys played with a doll that glorified war and being a soldier, and all the girls played with a doll that presented them with an unattainable standard of beauty.

When I was a kid, there were a lot of fucked up choices for entertainment, but now none of it looks that fucked up compared what's going on in the real life Republican party.