Okay, the holidays are here, and it’s the time of year where lots of lonely people think of killing themselves. It’s a very serious thing, and maybe someone you know is going through it and you should take a little extra time to talk to them or check in and make sure that they are okay.
And if you are thinking of doing something drastic, don’t assume your friends or family will recognize it on their own. People have a lot on their plates these days. Work, bills, kids, whether President Trump will deport them or strip them of their rights and put them in a labor camp, etc. Seriously though, people are not always the best at spotting other people’s problems, so don’t fool yourself into thinking that they don’t care and making it one more reason to exit the planet.
Look, life is no picnic for anyone. Most of the upbeat, happy people you envy simply have that smile plastered on their face so they can get through the day. Life is work. There’s no way around it. You have to put some effort into it, and that applies to everyone.
Everyone has had a relationship end. Everyone has had to deal with loss and grief. Everyone has felt alone and unloved and like a burden to everyone around them, or worse yet, invisible and insignificant. We all go through hard times. We can all survive.
Talking to others is the best chance we have. Everything you think that no one can understand can be understood. You are never the only person that feels a certain way or has gone through a certain thing. We are all in the same boat. Some might be on the upper level and some might be in steerage, but we all sail along on the same ocean and we all swap accommodations.
And if all the people in your life turn out to be jerks with no time for you? There are plenty of places to call:
Take to social media and talk to your friends. Believe it or not, people respond when you share some real stuff on there. Take it from me, people are a lot more caring and thoughtful than you think. Just reach out any way you can.
This especially holds true for anyone suffering from depression or PTSD or any other mental illness. First off, get over the notion that there is anything to be ashamed of. Sometimes your family or friends or Republicans can make you feel like having an illness is something to be ashamed or to hide away. I’m not going to lie, there are people that feel this way and want you to just shut up and go away, but those people are complete assholes and you should ignore the hell out of them. Are we clear on that? Good. Just to illustrate, I have a shitload of annoying OCD crap I have to deal with, I suffer from anxiety attacks and I while I do not suffer from depression on a daily basis, I have dealt with it sporadically and have even talked to a psychiatrist now and then. I’m lucky that I can live with all that without meds and regular therapy and support, but I would seek both those things out in an instant if I thought they would help. In actuality, my support is writing about all of that and letting others know what goes through my mind. You know what? I have never once, in all the hundreds of thousands of rambling words I have posted online had even one person contact me and tell me that they have no idea what I’m talking about and that I’m delusional. I have received so many messages from so many people, public and private, telling me that they really needed to hear that someone else felt the same way they do. Honestly, there’s no better feeling, so feel free to share some personal stuff about you if you feel you can, it makes a big difference in people’s lives.
Back to mental illness though. Sometimes you might see things through a distorted lens. Sometimes your brain tells you that no one cares and there’s no point trying. Your brain is lying to you. Your brain is your enemy, in many ways, but in this case the wiring is a little crossed or the chemicals are a little out of balance. Trust in your friends and your doctor. I know it must be such a scary realization that you can’t trust yourself in certain areas, but it happens and it’s no reason to feel shame or guilt. Reach out to the people that care about you. They are out there, I promise. Call 911 if you have to, but just please don’t do anything drastic. It would be such a tragedy to lose everything just because of a small hiccup in your brain’s biology. You are so much more.
Maybe you don’t even know you’re depressed and that there’s help out there.
http://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Conditions/Depression
http://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Conditions/Depression
If you’re lucky enough to be “well adjusted”, whatever the hell that means, then you can volunteer to help out those that aren’t as fortunate.
Now, kids. Bullying is a horrible scourge, and it’s nothing new. I was bullied incessantly from kindergarten until I dropped out of high school. Whether it’s some kids at school, your own family, or President Trump, you can survive it. Bullying almost killed me, and one of the only ways I made it was because of the books I read and music and movies that spoke to me and let me know that I wasn’t alone, that this would end and I would someday be able to go out and find others that thought and felt like me. And I did, all before the internet! You can too. Tell your parents if you are being bullied. It is nothing to be ashamed of. If your parents don’t listen or seem to care, tell some other relative, or better yet, tell me and I will go kick your bully’s ass for you. Sure, it might land me in prison for a spell, but what the hell. It will be worth it to beat up a minor.
Seriously. Do not let some small minded idiot that is suffering from their own lousy life situation mess up your life like my bullies did. Life gets better.
Also, if you are gay or transgendered or any of the other things I’m not up on or knowledgeable enough to speak about because I’m lame, don’t let close minded people make you think that death is your only way out. Boys kiss boys, girls kiss girls, boys wear dresses, all that stuff. None of it matters to anyone with half a brain. If it does matter to them that much, chances are that they are dealing with the same issues. You’re perfectly fine, no matter what religious zealots or close minded people think, even if those close minded people are your family. Family members can be wrong, even parents, so if it’s that bad just hold on until you’re 18 and do whatever the hell makes you happy. You’re not alone and you’re beautiful and the hell with anyone that thinks different.
That goes for anybody. We are all perfectly imperfect.
Just hold on, for the love of God, and don’t make a decision in an instant that has consequences forever. Somebody out there loves you and they need you in their life. Trust me.
And if you want some personal experience, here you go. I hope it helps.
http://dferrarisstories.blogspot.com/2015/01/that-one-time-i-tried-to-kill-myself.html
http://dferrarisstories.blogspot.com/2015/01/that-one-time-i-tried-to-kill-myself.html
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